Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I'm a Border Collie

So. . . this weather.  It's not bad exactly.  It's actually fun, in a different sort of way.  A way that, if I had unlimited supplies of cash and nothing to do with it, I'd totally go learn to snow board and buy a four wheel drive vehicle and a season pass to the nearest quasi-ski resort ("quasi", because this is WNC and I don't think we have any real ones), and spend my winter pretending to be Shaun White.  Because he's cooler than Kelly Clark.  They both have gold medals, but he also has a private half-pipe that Red Bull built for him, while she has a snowboard with Jesus painted on it.  I go to church and all, but I do not want Jesus painted on my snowboard.  And frankly, I doubt He'd care much if his name was on there anyway.  But, I digress.  And I don't have unlimited cash and thus no engaging new hobby to distract me.

What I do have, is that crazy-eyed feeling that a Border Collie gets if it hasn't run sufficient laps every day. And yes, this is an allusion to Modern Family.  In which Phil and his wife had the following exchange:

Phil: She has to run everyday or she goes crazy,
 she's like a Border Collie.
Claire: Did you just compare me to a dog?!?

Phil: The smartest in the world!

I'm so Claire these days.  And not because I feel like the smartest dog in the world. But because I feel like if I don't go run outside in the very near future I'm going to effing kill somebody. Which is odd, because I've run a lot on a treadmill (at the Y:  while watching snarky passive aggressive power plays for the best treadmills, at the Rush:  while my retinas were forever burned with the neon orange accents and the giant silvery word "LADYZ" that signifies the women's dressing room.)  And I've ridden my bike trainer like a woman possessed, only to discover that I'm still IN THE LIVING ROOM.  All that effort and sweat and  heart rate monitoring, and I'm still in the same damn place.  So. . . I've got to get outside.  Soon.  As soon as Clark walks in the door for lunch I'm strapping on the yaktrax and I'm out of here.  Running wild and free, like the Border Collie I'm apparently meant to be.


  1. love your post.... 9can your run in yaktrax? cool.)

    You are wild and free, what a wonderful kind of person, and dog, to be.

  2. Baby, I knew you were a Border Collie the moment we met 19 years ago. Seriously: Beautiful hair, but no interest in grooming. Risk of mischief without sufficient mental challenge. Perfectionist tendencies. Thrives on physical exertion and mental diversion. Hard worker, extremely loyal, committed to family and yes (Claire), very smart.

  3. @Andrea - yaktrax are the best! Definitely worth getting if you like to run outside in yuck weather - very good traction.

    @Clark - you crack me up. :)